How We Ended Up in Asia
February 2012. Mallory and I had every intention of going to Spain last summer with our church. The trip seemed like one I could handle, being terrified of international travel and all. Europe somehow seemed a little less "foreign" than any other continent. Two of Mallory's good friends and their families were going on that trip and it just seemed like something we could do. On the day of the informational meeting about all of the church-sponsored trips, Mallory got sick -- some sort of stomach bug -- so I had to attend the meeting alone. I read the brochure that they passed out and noticed that there was also a trip to East Asia that youth were allowed to attend. Some things about that trip really struck me -- the dates were good, it cost $1,000 per person less, they were doing educational training and loving on babies in an orphanage (something I am much better equipped to do than the street fairs and public performances they were doing in Spain), and two doctors were leading the trip (which is a bonus for a hypochondriac). Before the breakout sessions to hear about each trip, I paced the hallway between the two rooms, not knowing which trip to sign up for, but figuring that with Mallory's friends in the Spain trip room, we would be heading there if she had come. I felt a prompting, though, to go to the East Asia trip room The others attending the trip welcomed me kindly, and I knew that East Asia was where we were supposed to go.The trip to East Asia left at the end of May, so we had just 3 1/2 months to get everything ready. We didn't even have passports -- and we had to raise $5,400 for the trip. All of it came together beautifully! We had our passports within a few weeks. By the April 1st dealine, we had raised $5,400 to the penny, thanks to some very generous freinds and family who responded to God's prompting. About a week later, when some additional needs were made known for the trip, we received some more contributions which covered the additional expenses. All of the preparations for the trip came together.
Now, what does this have to do with adoption? At the time it seemed like this: I had just graduated in May 2012 with my master's degree, and the plan was that after I did, we would once again look into adoption and foster care. The East Asia trip was at the beginning of the summer which would allow me to work on our state paperwork the rest of the summer once we returned. So, I thought this was a way to get the international mission trip out of the way sooner so that we could get back and pursue our adventure. But, that does not seem to be how God saw it.
Deciding to Adopt From Asia
When we were in East Asia, part of our work was at a "Healing Home." It was a place where orphaned babies with cleft palates went to receive special care and surgeries. The home had a low baby to nanny ratio and it was very apparent that the children were loved. We loved our time working with the babies there. And, while I was there, the question came back to me, "Why not you?"I had plenty of reasons about why not me. First, and foremost, we had never even considered international adoption because it is expensive, involves international travel and we know that children in our own country need homes. Second, I was sure that I was not prepared to handle a "special needs" child. After all, (and I say this tongue in cheek) God had given me "perfect" children because that is what He thought I could handle. (Of course "perfect" is a bit misleading since one of our children is a cancer survivor, another had a severe peanut allergy, one cannot say the "r" sound, one has had glasses since age 4, one knocked out his front teeth at age 3, one had an intolerance to milk for several years, and I could continue -- and we only have three children. In other words, I know they are not "perfect" but an outsider looking on might think they are!) And I wrestled with these thoughts throughout the time we worked at the healing home.
Then, one day, when I had myself truly convinced that I could not take care of a child with a special need, I felt a peace rush over me and had a complete change of heart. What looked "perfect" to people looking on didn't actually matter. I don't really know how to explain it. (I have sat here writing and erasing for five minutes, not knowing how to get the idea put into words.) What I do know is that all of a sudden, I knew we could do it.
Immediately, I emailed David, "What would you think about adopting a child from here with a repaired cleft palate?" Almost instantly, he replied, "Sure." Then, a moment later, "I wouldn't have to travel to China, would I?" He said that he knew all along that we would come home fired up to adopt a baby!
I asked the director of the healing home how to get started. Right then, she e-mailed a lady at an adoption agency in Colorado who works closely with the healing home. By the time Mallory and I were home from East Asia, David had already printed out some of what we needed to get started, and I spent most of the summer of 2012 getting the paperwork ready for our dossier and our adoption process. The paperwork is quite extensive and overwhelming and I was so blessed to have the time to devote to getting it done.
As we looked through our photos from the healing home, one baby really seemed to stand out to me -- a cute little girl named Simone (though because of a miscommunication we called her "Mary Kate.") I inquired about her, got her name and information, and truly was motivated to work diligently on the paperwork by looking at her pictures. I was sure we would get her -- we even bought a few hairbows and baby girl clothes. I carried her photo with me for all of the months it took to put together our dossier. As we got to the end of the paperwork process, however, and it was time to be matched with a child, it became apparent that it would be a "needle in a haystack" proposition to get Mary Kate/Simone. We really did not know what to do -- wait for Mary Kate or accept a match with another child. We prayed, looked in God's Word and sought counsel from other people. We decided to wait until we felt like we were not supposed to wait. One day, David and I both had a different Christian friend say to us something like, "Maybe God put Mary Kate in your heart to motivate you to follow through." We shared that with each other, were amazed that two people had said the same thing and felt a peace anout seeking a match with a waiting child.
Deciding to Adopt Zachary
We found out that there was actually a bigger need to adopt little boys. While there is a waiting list of people wanting to adopt little girls with minor special needs, there are many little boys who remain on the list waiting for forever homes. We decided that it might even be better for our family to get a little boy. First of all, J.B. really wanted a little brother -- why would he want to be outnumbered by three sisters?! Second, I happened upon a name I loved on a baby names website -- Zachary, which means "Jehovah has not forgotten." I knew that if we got a little boy, that we would use that name. What a perfect name for a baby from an orphanage! My first thought was to try and get one of the little boys from the healing home where we had volunteered. I inquired about one that we really found adorable and sweet, but he, like Mary Kate, was not yet on the list of available children. The wait time was indefinite for children from that healing home. We didn't mind waiting if that was what we were supposed to do, but wanted to take action if that was what we were supposed to do!It was actually quite a leap of faith for us to think about a child from somewhere besides the home where we had volunteered. We knew that those babies received really good care, but have obviously heard horrible things about the care in other true orphanages. But, we saw the profile of a little boy on our adoption agency website who caught our eye. We asked about him, but another family was looking at his file. About a week later, we got a call that his file was available. We were told that he was living at Maria's Big House of Hope, a special care facility that was founded by Steven Curtis Chapman (who I mentioned in the last post). At MBHOH, our little guy had the surgeries to repair his cleft lip and cleft palate and received extra special care. We looked at the file for a week or so and we just knew that he was the little guy who would join our family. In March 2013, we were matched with our Zachary. In September, we will get to hold him in our arms and bring him home about a week before he turns two.
And that is how God worked though a stomach bug, a "terrifying" trip, some not-so-perfect "perfect" kids and pictures of a sweet little girl named Simone (or Mary Kate) -- and many, many other circumstances as well -- to bring us to our Zachary. The next posts will likely be posts about our adoption trip and should even include pictures of our little guy! Our adventure is just about to get really exciting!
